Archive for the ‘FAITH Series’ Category

Aug
25
2010

I is for Integrity – FAITH Series

This is part three of a five part series of devos featured by Mark Elfstrand on The Morning Ride on WMBI 90.1 FM Chicago

Henry Clay said, “Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character.”

If there is one virtue we want to see embodied in the next generation, it is integrity. Why? Because integrity, like a rock, will endure in the good times and the bad.

Today, as we see our world come apart at the seems, many Christians want to blame the media, the politicians, or Hollywood. But all of those entities are just reflections of us, the people. And if there is on deficit worth sweating over, its not the federal deficit, but the character deficit.

William R. Allen said, “Certainly it is a world of scarcity. But the scarcity is not confined to iron ore and arable land. The most constricting scarcities are those of character and personality.”

So what do parents do? We can complain about the lack of integrity in our society or we can do something. We may not be able to control the media, the politicians, or Hollywood, but we can have influence on how the children entrusted to our care live their lives.

Integrity begins at home. In Ephesians 6, Paul gives father’s a challenge. He says that Dads can either frustrate their children or raise them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

In today’s language we might say that a father can make a mark or leave a scar. And nowhere is a father’s influence greater than in the way he carries himself every single day.

Children want to see authenticity in their parents. Not perfection. Not legalism. But authentic character that resists the temptation to compromise. It has been said that kids hear what you tell them, but they internalize what you show them.

And let’s be clear, by integrity we don’t mean Phariseeism, more man-made rules. We don’t mean arrogance that boasts of self-righteousness. In fact, the hypocrisy of living by lists often leads children to reject the faith of their parents, because they see the holes in a works-based relationship with God.

Integrity is something different. We’re talking about Christian character, like humility, sacrifice, honesty, loyalty, and faith. The old fashioned virtues so absent in our society.

So how does a parent instill these values in their children? Besides modeling integrity, parents must be intentional about teaching integrity in the everyday. Use real-world examples from the playground, the classroom, and the living room. Conflicts with friends, neighbors and siblings provide rich opportunities to train children to do the right thing, every single time.

The important thing is to pepper correction and instruction with Scripture, so the children understand that the rules are not Mom and Dad’s rules, but are based in something higher. It will teach them to be accountable to God, so when they leave home, they will remember to Whom they answer.

Most important, remember that children have eyes that see everything, even those things we think we’ve carefully hidden. Our own dishonesties or shortcuts don’t escape their notice. Which means we actually have to live the life we want them to live.

But remember, the sacrifice is worth it. Because in passing down the values of character and integrity, you’re giving your children a gift.

For the complete audio message, click here.

Aug
24
2010

A is for Accountability – FAITH Series

This is part two of a series of devos featured by Mark Elfstrand on The Morning Ride on WMBI, 90.1 Chicago.

Believe it or not, children want boundaries.

They want rules.

They want structure.

They even want discipline.

Of course, they’ll raise their hand at dinner time and ask you for this. But deep within their hearts, they crave the security that comes from parents who care enough to tell them where the lines are.

The natural human inclination is to bow to every whim of each child, to give them what they want. On the surface it seems cruel to withhold something a child desires. It’s so much easier to just give in or to passively ignore issues and hope they go away.

But if you think that’s what your children want, you’d be wrong.

If parents wish to establish a culture of faith in their family, their first priority is to recognize their God-assigned role as the authority in their children’s lives.

Because God wired children for authority and accountability.

Discipline and accountability are words that often strike fear in the hearts of parents. Perhaps they evoke bad memories of their own childhood, filled with abusive authority and unnecessary control.

But it isn’t the presence of authority that harms kids. It’s the misapplication of authority. In fact, God established authority structures way back in the Garden of Eden, even before the Fall of Man. He gave Adam and Eve rules, roles, and responsibility.

When sin entered Eden, the need for accountability became greater. Man needs accountability because man is a sinner. Left to our own devices, we always drift toward evil.

All through the Scriptures, from Old Testament to New, you’ll see God dealing with his people, laying down clear lines of authority.

Even in an age of grace, God hasn’t abandoned His law. Romans 13 is just one of several New Testament passages that articulate a biblical approach to authority. Paul writes that “the powers that be are ordained of God.”

So if parents wish to prepare their children for life, they must intentionally and lovingly enforce their authority. They must show them that a healthy respect for authority brings freedom.

Ephesians 5-6 outlines God’s blueprint for the family. And while each member has their roles, each member is also accountable to each other and to God. Proverbs 25:18 reminds us that an undisciplined individual is like ‘a broken down city without walls.”

Biblical, loving, consistent discipline is a gift to a child. It sends them into the world equipped to make a difference.

I’ve had conversations with many adults who grew up with little or no guidance, nobody to tell them how to live. Do you know how they feel? Unloved and alone.

To be sure, rules have no power to change a heart. Paul reminds us in Galatians that the law is like a schoolmaster. It brings us to Christ. Rules and boundaries are continual reminders to a child that his heart is sinful and tends toward rebellion, that left alone they are “prone to wander.”

When a child butts up against the consistent application of God’s law, he realizes his brokenness and his need for a Savior to rescue him. It opens the door so grace can enter in.

So don’t be afraid of rules. Seek God’s wisdom in establishing fair, biblical, and sensible boundaries in your home. Not only will you give your child a sense of self-respect, discipline, and love.

You also help point them to the Gospel.

For the complete audio message, click here.

Aug
23
2010

F is for Faithfulness – FAITH Series

This is part one of five devos featured on The Morning Ride with Mark Elfstrand.

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart.”

For most Christian parents, this verse in Proverbs 22:6 is a foundation stone of their home. But it’s a verse that often brings guilt rather than inspiration. Guilt that stems, I believe, from an unbiblical interpretation.

At first glance, it seems to offer an ironclad promise. Raise your children “the right way” and they will automatically “turn out.”

But here’s the problem. It doesn’t always work. We all know people who were raised in godly homes, yet have abandoned the faith in their adult years.

So what happens to Proverbs 22:6? Because we have been taught that this is an ironclad guarantee, we then assume that parents must have failed somewhere. Racked with guilt, parents travel back through the child-raising years, searching, looking, and sleuthing for their big mistakes.

Is this right? I don’t think so. You see, Proverbs 22:6 was never written to be the stand-alone, foundation verse for the Biblical model of parenting. It is merely one verse in the entire comprehensive model of parenting found from Genesis to Revelation.

Furthermore, the common interpretation of Proverbs 22:6 as a promise or a doctrine is faulty. Students of the Bible understand that Proverbs, while inspired Scripture, are just that, Proverbs. They represent the best collection of the wisdom anywhere in the world. They rise above all other literature, both classical and contemporary.

But the proverbs are not doctrine and they are not promises.

We don’t apply the other proverbs this way. For instance, Proverbs 15:1 suggests that a soft answer turns away wrath. And this is true, the majority of the time. A kind word often diffuses an angry confrontation. But not always.

But there are also moments when a soft answer will inflame. I’ve had a soft answer land me an uppercut to the jaw.

Do you see the folly of reinterpreting the Proverbs as promises? To be sure, God does include many wonderful promises in the Scriptures. Promises that are ironclad guarantees that rest on the unchanging character of God.

But not Proverbs 22:6.

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