Jan 28th 2012

“She Refreshed the Saints” – A Tribute to a Great Mother-in-Law

On January 17th, my mother-in-law, Linda Sullivan went to be with the Lord. She was a beloved woman, a dear friend, and someone who shaped my life in the last nine years. I had the privilege of speaking at her funeral on Saturday, January 21st. Here is my tribute: 

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On January 17th at 8:03 PM central time, Linda Diane Sullivan whispered her last breath on this earth and entered the arms of Jesus. I imagine a triumphant welcome in Heaven, because this was the home going of one of God’s most precious saints, a life marked by unceasing joy and an unusual selflessness.

Linda entered my life nine years ago, when I had the privilege of marrying her beautiful daughter, Angela. Angela is the greatest gift Linda gave me, but it was not the only one. For nine years Linda enriched my life in incalculable ways.

When I think of Linda, the first thought that comes to mind is infectious, contagious, relentless joy. God saw fit to allow Linda to endure some heart-wrenching personal trials, hardships that would cause most ordinary people to grow embittered and give up their faith. But Linda endured the worst of life with a gritty, patient, endurance. In our frequent conversations, I would often ask her, “Mom, how is it that you are still smiling after all you’ve been through?” And Mom would inevitably say, “Only God can get me through, one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.”

In almost every situation, in almost every scene of her life, you would find Linda smiling. This cannot be said about many people.

This is what Mom taught me. I’ve been a Christian most of my life. And yet Mom showed me, more than anyone I’ve known, what it means to live it out every day, in good times and bad. She showed me a different side of Christianity. One that is real.

Mom and I had similar personalities. Angela often says that she married her mom. We’re both similarly laid back in most things. Mom was someone you could easily talk to, who could enjoy company in any crowd, and who was ready for an encouraging word and a laugh. She could lift any downtrodden spirit.

She reminded me of Philemon, about whom Paul said, “He refreshed the saints.” This could be said about Mom. She refreshed the saints.

We often invited Mom to visit us in Chicago where we presently have tiny living quarters. I have often told people there is only one person in the world who could live with us, in our small environment, for a month at a time. That person is Mom.

When Mom came to live, she had no selfish agenda. Her desire was to serve others, to make their world a little brighter, however she could. Mom was faithful in encouraging people through cards and bookmarks. She was faithful to send cards for birthdays, anniversaries, and any holiday. And she always included a bookmark. I remember when I was going through some difficult personal trials, Mom sent me cards that lifted my spirits.

Linda was also my biggest fan. She treated me as if I was her own son.

Her visits in Chicago were memorable. She loved to tour the city. And Mom had a knack for attracting trouble, travel trouble. From delayed flights to quirky travel issues, Mom always seemed to have issues when coming to visit us.  But when she arrived it was always a good time. She would play cards and mash her famous strawberries for shortcake and watch her game shows. I’m pretty sure she was the only person who was mashing strawberries at midnight.

She demanded very little. The only thing we had to make sure we had on hand was a bag of ice, because she went through ice, for her cups of water, faster than our icemaker could produce. I would buy the biggest bag of ice for Mom and put in our freezer. She laughed at that.

Mom was a great laugher. She laughed at my jokes, even if they weren’t funny. She would sing to our kids when they were crying. She would encourage Angela when she was down.

Perhaps my fondest memory of Linda was when our first child, Grace, was born. Mom was notoriously bad with technology, especially with cameras and so her picture-taking ability was about as good as mine, which is to say it wasn’t very good at all. And Mom, bless her heart, snapped graphic pictures of every angle of Angela giving birth, pictures that she would later show all her friends, much to the embarrassment of Angela.

But seriously, the fondest memory was being in that birthing room and looking over at Mom holding our newborn Grace, tears streaming down her face. I’ll never forget that image.

Linda was proud of all of us. She talked endlessly about her kids and loved each of them equally. Mom rarely got angry, but if she did it was because somebody hurt one of her children.

If you know Linda’s story, you know that she endured some really hardships. This is where she lived out her faith most publically. Most people would have chosen bitterness, but Mom always chose to trust the Lord, to face life with joy.

You can tell that Jesus in her. And she loved her church here at Glenview Baptist in Forth Worth. She spoke so fondly of Pastor Dennis Baw.

Linda also loved her friends. She had such a wide circle of loyal friends. And all of you know how much of a friend she was to you. She’d be there in a crisis, in a pinch. She’d help in any way she could.

We know Mom is with Jesus now, happy, enjoying eternity in Heaven. We know this because Jesus was the center of Mom’s life. We trust that God is sovereign over all things. We have the hope of the Resurrection and so we don’t sorrow as others who do not know the Lord. I know I will see Mom again. And I know that Mom would want you to experience the same love of Jesus she knew.

But please pray for us during this time on this earth as we will miss her. She will leave a large void in our lives. She won’t be replaced.

It’s rare to find a son-in-law who will sing the praises of his mother-in-law. But all of those common jokes never applied to Linda. She was best mother-in-law a man could want. She graciously allowed me to marry her beautiful daughter. And she enriched my life in countless ways.

I will miss her greatly.

 

Jan 27th 2012

Friday Five: Laurie Alice Eakes

Today I’m honored to feature the talented novelist, Laurie Alice Eakes. She is a fellow client of my agent, Tamela Hancock Murray and an award-winning author. Her books have won numerous awards, including The National Readers Choice Award. She was also a Carol Award finalist. In the past three years, she has sold six books to Baker/Revell, five of which are set during the Regency time period, four books to Barbour Publishing, as well as two novellas to Barbour Publishing and one to Baker/Revell. Six of her books have been picked up by Thorndike Press for large print publication, and Lady in the Mist, her first book with Revell, was chosen for hardcover publication with Crossings Bookclub. She also teaches on-line writing courses and enjoys a speaking ministry that has taken her from the Gulf Coast to the East Coast. She blogs regularly here. Here latest book is  A Heart’s Safe Passage. 

Today Laurie was kind to take time out of her writing day to chat with me about the writing life: 

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Jan 23rd 2012

When Partisanship Blinds

You don’t have to be a political junkie to know that GOP voters are in the midst of primary season, choosing whom they’d like to face off against President Obama in the fall. Many conservative Christians are tuning in and making choices. Politics in America is a necessary evil. We need good Christians in levels of government to help shape society. But politics often plays to our basest instincts, drawing even good people into silly partisan games and blinding them to reality.

Such is the case with Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House, architect of the Contract with America and a brilliant man of ideas in the Republican Party. I’ve often admired Newt for his willingness to think outside of the same set of conservative talking points (low taxes, strong defense, limited government). But as is well known, Newt has significant weaknesses as a leader, not the least of which is a hubris that grates even on those who agree with him the most. Which is why he was tossed as speaker by his colleagues. Most troubling is Newt’s public moral failings, having admitted to serial infidelity.

By all accounts Newt is now a changed man. As a 68-year old grandfather, he seems to have found discipline and grace in his old age. We have no reason to doubt this. As Christians we believe in the power of redemption and life change.

And yet, what is troubling about Newt’s candidacy, in my view, may not be Newt himself, but his many conservative defenders. All of a sudden, its taboo now for the media to probe into Newts background and ask tough questions of him, questions raised by his 2nd wife’s interview in which she claims Newt wanted an “open marriage.” I’m not sure if Newt asked for that or not and yes, these issues are several years old. However, it is not journalistic malpractice for the media to ask these questions. We are, after all, picking a President. Don’t we have the right to inquire of his moral character?

What distresses me most, what prompted me to write this blog post in the first place, was the searing hypocrisy on the part of some on the Right. I distinctly remember when Bill Clinton was being publically and legally tried for his moral failures while in the White House. I remember his chief defender, James Carville saying something like this, “Character doesn’t matter. Nobody cares about that. It’s the economy stupid.” Conservative Christians rightly denounced this. We do believe moral character matters.

And yet I’m hearing this same convoluted defense of Newt Gingrich’s indescretions. Again, I’m not throwing stones at Newt, nor am I saying he couldn’t serve as President. But it seems politics has blinded us to what we really believe. Suddenly the character about which we were so excercised in Clinton’s day no longer matters. All we seem to care about is getting rid of Obamacare. I’m hearing comparisons to King David, comparisons which we ridiculed when Democrats used him in defense of Bill Clinton. I’m also hearing conservatives justify Newt by saying things like, “the Democrats do it and are worse.” As if the only way to assess someone’s moral failure is through the lens of who is doing it worse. This is the kind of twisted moral logic I thought the Judeo Christian ethic rejects.

So, there are two conclusions to draw. Either politics has so blinded conservatives to the issues about which they once stood and they operate within a framework that defends their guy at all costs and repudiates the other side at all costs. Or, they’ve come a long way from their moralist past and are embracing more of the gospel’s tone of forgiveness and redemption. I’m cynical, but I believe the former.

I say all of this not to throw stones at Newt. He has very publicly repented. No man is perfect, least of all public figures for whom temptation is much greater. None of us is above the possibility of moral failure. For this, we fall on the grace of God. But what we must realize is that God’s grace extends to both Republican and Democrat, that moral failure is wrong no matter who is committing it. And while we should offer forgiveness to those who fall, let’s not bend so far backward that we actually defend the actual deed or minimize its importance in the life of our nation.

Maybe this will keep us from two equally wrong political postures: twisting the political knife when an ideological opponent stumbles and reflexively defending bad behavior among those whose policies we affirm.

Because if character does matter, it matters regardless of party. And if grace and redemption are offered in the gospel, they are available even to Democrats.

 

Jan 20th 2012

Friday Five: Ed Welch

Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He has counseled for over twenty-five years and is the best-selling author of some of the best, gospel-centric counceling books, including When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest; and When I Am Afraid: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety.

His latest book is What Do You Think of Me and Why Do I Care?, Today, Ed was kind enough to stop by and chat for today’s Friday Five.

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Jan 18th 2012

Don’t Be the Hero of Your Own Story

I recently wrote this for my weekly teen Crosswalk.com devo: 

If you and Abraham were in Heaven, relaxing over a sweat tea in rocking chairs (I know Heaven isn’t like Cracker Barrell, but that’s the best I can do right now), I think he would tell you that his little weekend trip to Egypt (Genesis 12:10-13:4) was one of the dumbest moves he made.

I’m not saying this lightly, because for me to say anything this man of faith did was dumb is like me chiding Aaron Rogers for not throwing a tight enough spiral. But Genesis clearly portrays Abraham’s move as being misguided at best.

Think about how it played out. He almost lost his wife to Pharaoh. He caused God to send plagues on Pharaoh, which I’m sure made that world ruler’s day. He also picked up Hagaar in Egypt. We all know how that worked out in Abraham’s family. And it was in Egypt that Abraham and Lot hit the jackpot and became rich. Their spoils eventually became a source of conflict and set Lot on a path to Sodom.

No, this Egypt thing didn’t work so well. God’s intent was for Abraham to stay in Canaan and let God be the hero in taking care of His people during the famine.

You see, Abraham’s issue was the issue you and I face. And I’m talking about those of you who are following Jesus. Maybe you’re not perfect. Maybe you don’t journal with a moleskin and you occasionally check your Facebook too much. However, you’re heart is right in wanting to follow Jesus as Abraham’s was.

And yet in the midst of trusting God, a big crisis occurs. For Abraham it was a famine. This mean he had schlepped his family all the way to a strange land (obeying God) and now they had no food, no water, no provisions. There was no nearby 24/hour Walmart. No Panera Bread or Jamba Juice.

This was a real crisis. But instead of trusting God, Abraham trusted himself. He was going to be the hero of the story. In doing so, he forgot something powerful. When God calls us, He is the hero of our story. Instead of seeing if God could do a miracle and feed His people in the desert (not like God ever did anything like that before, right?), Abraham took matters in his own hands.

I’ve done that lots of times. And I only end up with dirty hands and nothing to show for my scheming efforts.

What’s cool, though, about Abraham’s story is that even though he messed up in Egypt, God still was the hero of Abraham’s story. In other words, Abraham’s lack of faith didn’t thwart God’s plan to make a people and a nation out of which the Redeemer would come. God even used Abraham’s folly to show Himself strong in Egypt and continue the forward march of rescuing His people from their sin.

So what this means is that God isn’t surprised when you and I screw up. He isn’t in Heaven doing a facepalm. He’s not tweeting our failures in disgust.

No, God even uses our evil for His good.

So if you want to see God at work, learn from Abraham’s folly and stop trying to be the hero of your own story. When crisis strikes, let God be the first One you consult. Trust Him.

Abraham could tell you that God’s record is pretty good when it comes to faithfulness. Actually it’s perfect.

Jan 17th 2012

Pastors, Love the Ones You’re With – The Gospel Coalition Blog

The Gospel Coalition graciously posted another of my articles. This one is about a new lesson I learned from a familiar passage:

I’ve read 1 Peter 5:1 many times. As a young pastor, I’m paying more attention to its straightforward directives for my calling as a shepherd.

But it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that the simple, often overlooked phrase “among you” leaped off the page and into my mind.

Why did Peter add this prepositional phrase? We know he wasn’t meeting an editor’s quota. And unlike so much of my writing, the inspired Word of God doesn’t contain throwaway phrases. No filler here.

So this means the phrase has significance. Peter could have easily said, “Shepherd the flock of God.” But he didn’t, because there is a lesson in that seemingly innocuous string of words.

via Pastors, Love the Ones You’re With – The Gospel Coalition Blog.

Jan 17th 2012

Creativity is Cool, but So is Maturity

By now you’ve read some of the dust-up online about two prominent pastors and their presentations of intimacy and marriage. Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace have written what seems to be a very raw, personal book, Real Marriage. Ed Young, Jr is launching a new preaching series/book/media blitz in which he and his wife are broadcasting live from their bed for 24 hrs on their church roof (Yes, you read that right).

I have not read Driscoll’s book and don’t intend too, though I highly respect Mark’s ministry and feel that he has been a terrific leader in advancing the gospel through church planting and leadership development. I don’t know Ed Young Jr nor have I read his latest book. He is a gifted preacher who seems to be leading many to faith in Christ.

I have read some terrific commentary on both issues. I’ve also read some snarky, arrogant triumphalist commentary and some downright unfair commentary. In my view, the two best pieces on both issues were written by Mathew Lee Andersen and Ed Stetzer.

However, a critical point I think has been missing in the discussion of evangelicals and sex and marriage is the issue of maturity. Pastors serve a vital role in their churches and communities. Besides being the person tasked with clearly teaching and preaching the Word of God, pastors are also spiritual leaders. Fairly or unfairly we are held up as examples of propriety, maturity, and grace.

I don’t know Ed Young, Jr personally nor do I know Mark Driscoll. They have ministries that far dwarf mine and likely have forgotten more about ministry and the Bible than I know. But I wonder if their actions reflect a church culture that seems to reward creativity without limits. A church culture that eschews maturity.

Maturity thinks things over and says, “I wonder if this is a good idea to put a bed on top of a roof?” or “I wonder if this is a good idea to do a provocative sex series that will intentionally offend some?” or “Is this the best idea?”

The pastor should be the adult in the room, not the juvenile. That doesn’t mean we have to go back to liesure suits and legalism. That doesn’t mean pastors have to be boring, dour, sad people (though some see this as their mission, another post for another time). But it also means there has to be lines we won’t cross with our creativity.  Call me a square or a prude, but I’m pretty sure broadcasting from a bed on a roof crosses that.

I’m in favor of church change, innovation, and contextualization. But at my funeral and on my tombstone I’d like it to be said simply, “He preached the Word of God”, not “He did crazy stunts that brought attention to his church.”

Jan 13th 2012

Friday Five: Matthew Lee Anderson

 

Matthew Lee Anderson is the founder of the popular blog Mere Orthodoxy as well as the author of  Earthen Vessels, Why Our Body Matters to Our Faith   He was featured in Christianity Today’s Who’s Next column in December of 2009.  Matthew sits on the editorial board of The City, and has been quoted on FoxNews.com, in the Wall Street Journal, and by the Associated Press.  He is a frequent contributor to publications such as First Things, Christianity Today, and The Gospel Coalition. He is a Perpetual Member of the Torrey Honors Institute and a graduate from Biola University (2004).

You’re part of a wave of young evangelical intellectuals. Scholars like Mark Noll have lamented the lack of evangelical scholarship in the past, but do you sense a new renaissance in evangelical intellectual pursuits? 

I hope so, but it’s very difficult to tell these sorts of things with anything approaching accuracy.  I know we have made incredible advances in a number of disciplines, particularly philosophy, psychology and sociology.  And I keep running into really intelligent Ph.D. candidates in political philosophy, which gives me hope for the future.  But if we are experiencing a renaissance, it will only be because of the work of Noll and others in the generation previous.  They were the true trailblazers, and my generation is simply lucky to stand on their shoulders.

In your famous paper, “The New Evangelical Scandal“, published in The City, you cautioned young evangelicals who tend to dismiss everything they learned from their parent’s generation. Why is this tendency so dangerous? 

“Famous” is probably overstating it, but it was a fun piece to write!  I think when the default mode of cultural engagement is that our parents were wrong and we’re out to fix it, we risk inoculating ourselves against any form of self-criticism.  Myopia breeds only more myopia:  if we don’t have the vision to see both the good and the bad of what we’ve inherited, we’ll never learn to truly see both the good and the bad of what we’re contributing.  Chesterton once wrote something to the effect that love is blind–it’s bound, and because it’s bound, it sees more clearly than anything else.  I think the same sort of thing is true of our cultural engagement: if we recognize the ways in which our lives our bound up in our parents, for both good and ill, we’ll see ourselves and the world more clearly and act more effectively in it.

Earthen Vessels is a thorough treatment of the intersection of the human body and faith. What inspired you to write this book? 

A moment of insanity!  Seriously, I have been ruminating on issues related to the body for a decade.  I first realized that there were depths when I listened to a lecture on Plato by John Mark Reynolds.  I also happened to be binging on the Apostle Paul and reading Dallas Willard’s Spirit of the Disciplines  The result was the realization that the Incarnation changes everything, and that the problem that Christianity solved in the ancient world (which is pretty close to the problem it solves today) is the problem of the body.

Why do evangelicals need a more robust theology of the body? 

For lots of reasons, not least of which is that it will help chasten the tacit secularism that many evangelicals have unwittingly adopted.  Secularism isn’t always and everywhere bad, but it’s impossible to sift properly without pre-existing theological categories that will filter things out.  Seeing how the Gospel shapes (and doesn’t shape) bodies is imperative for living in a world that has reduced the body to a question, and evangelicals are currently woefully equipped to do that.  Developing a more robust theology of the body will help us know what shape our practices should take, see how those practices will affect our bodies, and help us resist and affirm the counter-practices of the world with greater wisdom and discernment.  If it’s not my book, it has to be someone else.  And I’ll sell their book as much (if not moreso) than I’ve tried to sell mine.

Lastly, I appreciate the lack of straw men in your writing. You really aim to present both sides of an argument fairly in a way I don’t often see even in people whose arguments I agre with. Has this always been a feature of your writing? 

Well, that’s very kind of you to say.  I don’t know if it’s always been a feature of my writing, but I’ve always tried to make it one.  It’s a practice I take very seriously.  My motivation has two sides to it.  On the one hand, I want to be charitable to people, to represent them at their best because that’s what I want for my own work.  But on the other hand, if we’re going to ultimately disagree on something, I want to really disagree–fairly, honestly, out in the open, and preferably over a good meal that you’re buying.  It’s no fun having arguments when one side has been misrepresented:  it’s a lot more fun when the disagreement’s over the substance of things, and that’s always the level to which I’m trying to reach.