Daniel Darling, author, pastor, speaker / Posts tagged "marriage"

How to Pastor Single Adults

Lisa Anderson is the editor of Boundless, one of the finest resources for young adults in the evangelical world. She's also host of the Boundless Podcast, where she interviews leading thinkers on issues of singleness, sexuality, marriage, and culture. I had the chance to interview Lisa this week for Leadership Journal. I asked her questions on singleness, sexuality, and ministry. This is one of the questions: Some pastors and church leaders face a tension between encouraging marriage and yet not diminishing the gift--and even calling--of singleness. How would you advise them?Pastors need to invite singles into the life and leadership of the church, treating them not as "kids" but as functioning adults with vital spiritual, emotional, and physical assets for the congregation. There's a delicate balance between encouraging single young adults in their current life stage and experience while still elevating marriage and acknowledging that marriage is in most people's future. Over 90...

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A word to husbands on Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that sneaks up on you. Well, at least it sneaks up on me. The winter is rich with holidays for the Darling Family: Angela and I were married the week before Thanksgiving, two of our four children have December birthdays, and my birthday is in late January. It gets busy and  . . . expensive. And I'm guessing I'm like most men. We do the Valentine's thing sort of reluctantly. It's a bit of an eye-rolling holiday. We feel we're getting hosed by Hallmark. Think about it: Mother's Day, Sweetest Day, Valentine's Day, Anniversary. I've even heard some (very unwise) husbands (who apparently have a regular cot in their garages) say they ignore it and just "love their wife the entire year." My advice is to . . . not do that. Don't do that at all. For one thing, your wife doesn't want to...

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Relationships of Worship and Delight

This week I had the privilege of interviewing Gary Thomas, the author of several books, including, Sacred Marriage, Sacred Parenting, and others. My wife and I have been personally blessed by Gary's work and we have used them in our ministry. I asked Gary about communicating a biblical model of marriage in a culture that has largely rejected it: How can church leaders communicate that model of marriage in a winsome way? First, of course, we need to "communicate it" through our lives. The consequences of pastoral failure in marriage can be severe; I've seen entire youth groups turn away from or at least grown significantly colder toward God as a result of a pastor's fall. Second, we have to show the joys of spiritual partnership. Selfishness gets boring, so trying to build marriages on self-centered ends wont work; its a short-term fix.Creating a sense of spiritual purpose, partnership, and connecting marriage more closely to...

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5 Things I’ve Learned in Ten Years of Marriage

Last month, on November 22nd, Angela and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. I'm not an expert on marriage and by some standards I'm still a rookie. But I have learned a few things in these ten wonderful years. Here they are, in no certain order: 1) I'm not naturally a good husband. Before I tied the knot, I was convinced I'd be a great husband. Some lucky girl would be praising the Lord daily that she nabbed me. How wrong I was, really. Rather, I was the blessed one, having snared a women as patient and loving as my wife Angela. What I've learned is that I am not naturally a good husband. I have to really, really work at it. Naturally I'm selfish, proud, and tend to see things only my way. To be a good husband I must do two things: I must work at loving my wife intentionally...

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